Your tits are I can't wait for
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
