She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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