I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
