Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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