We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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