I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
