And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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