Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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