i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
