okay pat passed out under dana's car
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
