I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
