come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
