this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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