I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
