My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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