Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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