8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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