she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
