Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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