At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize