she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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