at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
