two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
