My nipple is on Facebook.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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