how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
