Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
