you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
