She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This is my gift to your gina
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
