we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
