If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
