but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize