No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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