If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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