Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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