Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
