I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
