he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize