dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
