i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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