Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
