oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
