That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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