So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
