I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
