I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
