dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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