Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I skipped work to stalk him.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize