so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
