i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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