If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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