It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
