i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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