My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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