I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
