I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
