Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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