This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
