So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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