jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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