you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So much rum. So many feels.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize