go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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