first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
