It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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