Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
